I’m reality checking here. You gave me a gift. I didn’t need it yet it was a nice thought. Within a couple days you made it disappear. I get that. You reappeared shortly thereafter and apologized for snagging the gift and returned it. I get that. Problem solved. This morning you asked if you could borrow the gift and I made that happen. Then you were in the living room with two gifts and I had none. I did not take this as a good sign. I am not without resources. I think you intuit that I have a few gifts I haven’t shared with you quite yet. Being passive aggressive is no way to gain entrance to the inner chamber.

And so we conclude on the solemn thought of death. No one wants to talk about the d word. Ignoring death will not forestall it. You may have family members who will take the reins on your passing. I do not. If you have not taken concrete steps to distribute any remainder most anyone can show up in court and stake a claim. My transfer on death deed precludes that. I designate charities and a dear friend in equal shares. If you are intestate on death the state can take it, park it for several years and then dump the proceeds into the general fund and use it to pay four guys to check a manhole cover. It requires attention and persistence and the cooperation of others. The documents are public records so there is no privacy concern. The process isn’t quite complete yet.

Lads update. I find it somewhat difficult to wrap my head around what a mountain of lethargy they are. When I get up at 3 am to take a leak they are watching TV and each is on his phone at the same time. I understand that this is one of those you damn kids get off my lawn moments. Many young people seem to be planning and working. The Lads tell me they are both going to work soon. How their circadian rhythms will deal with actual work is something I don’t need to worry about. I’ve discussed with them the fact that the gravy train is departing. I’d hate to do it but their stuff can be put on the street. No paperwork, no payments from them. Dutch Uncle Moment

best cookie ever?

So simple and crazy good! Use any reliable pecan sandie recipe online (I use Martha Stewart's) and when it calls for a cup of pecans make 50/50 pecans and crispy bacon bits. The dough is coarse and should be hand formed. I always use parchment paper for baking. Baking time is extended because of the additional fat from the bacon. At the 15-20 minute mark keep an eye on them so they firm up without drying out. If you do these things you'll have one of the most amazing cookies you've ever eaten. If you serve them warm someone may expire in ecstasy.

Significant events: a year in review 2015. The death of my sister. I knew this would happen three years ago when I was informed of her original diagnosis with cancer. It closely mimics the death of my mother in 1985. I speculate about a genetic component regarding the X chromosome. Auto immune deficiency isn’t just about AIDS. My manifestation is vitiligo. The new furnace: major adult moment. I spent five NM winters without central heat due to my budget. I would hunker down in the smallest room with an electric heater. With the return of central heating I can use the entire house again during the cold months. The caregiver. Though he comes just once a week he does cleaning, laundry and shopping for me beyond what my stamina allows. He and his family have adopted me and I was privileged to spend Thanksgiving with them. David always brings a little gift when he comes. Going Postal 2015. Dad used to say if you want to get mail send mail. I decided last January to send physical mail to friends. When the box is full of bills and junk mail a card from a friend guarantees a smile. I’m nationwide and in Spain, Tokyo, the UK and the Canary Islands. By sending mail I receive mail. In this case dad was right. This project will continue in 2016. Crafting and cooking. I lump these together. I no longer have a car and don’t drive. I have plenty of leisure time at home. Making small craft projects out of paper and recycled materials. They are temporary manifestations and often don’t last more than a few days before they are sent to a friend or disassembled; a photo remains. Cooking is a great love of mine and when that magic happens it is a pearl of great price. Planning is everything. My pantry is so ready. If a dozen people showed up unexpectedly (not gonna happen) I could feed them. The prep for black-eyed peas with smoked pork hocks, skillet corn bread and mustard greens was a joy. In the New Year I may attempt to make homemade sausage. Face Book. I understand that a number of the youngsters consider FB to be so last Thursday. It’s a gift to me. I get to be in touch with so many people in real time. I have several groups there and it’s like being together in the living room. My Gal Pals. Bachelor Chow. The Hat. The Lads. Though unintended, I ended up inviting two young men to stay here at the Manse for a while. There has been a great deal of young life in the house for the holidays. Even with the problems entailed it has been an awakening and a learning experience. I teach them and they teach me. When we have a movie night and pizza we can go anywhere. I pick one and they pick one and then perhaps a wild card entry. Guardians of the Galaxy turned out to be great. Kindness. Kindness is a magic that actually works. I have been the recipient of great kindnesses and so attempt to give them as well. The Sisters. The Magic Cabbie. Again, My Gal Pals. My remainders. With the death of my sister I was intestate. The arrangements have been made to distribute what meager estate remains when I go to the undiscovered country. Charities. The Masonic Charity fund, the Barrett Foundation for homeless women and children and the Veteran’s Integration Center for homeless vets. I am down for this New Year. I try something. If it works it goes in the book. If not, I try something else next.

Pantry planning yields great rewards. If properly stocked a meal is only a few steps away. Strategic shopping. Buying staples like pasta, soup, beans, cooking oil and fresh garlic and fridge items like a big chunk of cheddar, butter and milk makes the deal go down. I keep a clipboard handy so I can jot something down like I’m out of foil. Then when you need to make a grocery run for fresh ingredients you’re ready. Do you have certain comfort foods? Include them in your planning. Here’s how this happened. Yesterday I put a bag of dried black-eyed peas into a large crock pot, put smoked pork hocks on them, added smashed garlic and a chopped onion, salt and fresh pepper and, for a NM touch, one diced jalapeno pepper. Add two or three bottles of beer. Bring to heat then turn to low and leave it overnight. Next day make your skillet cornbread according to the recipe on the box, reducing or eliminating the amount of sugar called for. Wash a couple bunches of greens (I used mustard greens) and de-stem and chop them. Using a tall pot, add a bit of oil to heat, and then add more smashed garlic to soften and brown. Throw in the greens. Season with pepper and salt, stir to coat then add ¼ - ½ cup broth or beer. Cover and simmer. When tender add a TBS of ground dried mustard. This is my mother and her mother in Arkansas, and the results are real southern home cooking. Have plenty of butter for the cornbread. I had to go for a second bowl.