Das Bank - part zwei

From time to time we receive a class action lawsuit notification by mail (mostly) regarding banks, lenders, credit card companies, et al. Usually the requirements for participation are too onerous but once in a while one is automatically a plaintiff. Case in point: I received a check from the "Anderson v. Compass Bank" settlement for $2.23. Now admittedly if I saw that on the sidewalk I'd pick it up. It's (almost) six chicken wings at MVFS Tuesday night (minimum order ten.) The problem is how to convert it to cash. As I don't have working transportation, USPS? If I deposit by mail I'll spend 49 cents for the stamp. We're down to four wings not including tip. The bus or a cab (love 'em!) would be right out. The last NSF charge I paid Compass was $38. That's 100+ wings for Compass (before tax and tip.) They dropped free use of other ATMs so it's $5+ now (fifty wings.) The monthly account service fee is the same. So I deal with my bank, they get 200 wings, I get six wings. And it's not like any other bank is going to be much better. The Banks Are Killing It! They are making a fortune and we have to stand in a roped-off snakeline waiting for that blessed benediction, "Next?" Consider the future this way. Wings are the new bitcoin. He who has ears let him hear. Next, Killer Robots reported in Florida and Korean seniors terrorize a McDonalds in Queens! Right after this word from our sponsor . . .