My Spanish is that of a Midwestern Methodist boy schooled in Aurora IL at Jefferson Junior High by Senorita Blandy tempered by 40+ years in NM. “Manola” can mean a needle, a syringe. In this case Manola is a woman who embodies Granada by nature and dress. Respect is implied by the capital letter. My foolish understanding would run thus: You are the woman who embodies your home, sung of in precious couplets. I have no other thing to offer you than an arm full of roses. Roses of such soft fragrance that they bear the mark of the Virgin of dark hair, skin, eyes. Granada, your land is full of beautiful women, of blood and of sun. Granada, Manola cantada en coplas preciosas No tengo otra cosa que darte que un ramo de rosas De rosas de suave fragancia Que le dieran marco a la Virgen morena Granada, tu tierra esta llena De lindas mujeres, de sangre y de sol

bagels with cream cheese

So I goes to the store (rhymes w/ ballpark kinda) and head to where the cream cheese lives. It’s on my list. Bagels were gonna be later: organization. There’s coupons there, a pad of at least 30-40 coupons. “Buy * (rhymes w/ Bill I’ll see ya kinda) and * (rhymes w/ anything ending in ‘mas’) and save $1.50!” I take a coupon. There are refrigerated bagels there too but none of that brand. A woman says, “Are you looking for those bagels? They’re probably w/ the fresh bread. I used to work at ballpark and that’s where we put them.” I kid you not, that’s where they were, and onion bagels to boot! So I gets to the checkout and the coupon doesn’t scan. I tell the checker to get a manager. The manager comes. She tells me it’s expired. I tell her I got it there in the NW corner. She goes there then comes back (yeah I had a lot of stuff so it took a while to check out) with the whole pad. She suggested that a previous customer had brought it in, noticed they were expired and abandoned them there. Short? I got that buck fitty off . . .

refrigerator

We've got to move these refrigerators. We've got to move these color tvs. For reasons unknown I received a copy of The Sun. Some say whatever I tell you three times is true. Around my house if you want to see something true it’s on the refrigerator. Tyler Clementi Father commissioned a distant cousin to paint a picture of his vision of the Iowa farm. He had roved the countryside and photographed the perfect barn, the just right silo, the windmill, a road worn in the prairie grass leading to the homestead. That was probably Uncle Howard and Aunt Hattie’s place. It’s the only place I ever saw a gopher’s tunnels much less a gopher trap. It was explained to me that when the animal passed beneath it a spring would be triggered that would drive steel blades into the earth and pierce and kill the gopher. I never saw the gopher. Perhaps that’s why. Years later I returned the painting to the artist. I did a sketch of the painting made from his photos and memories. It’s there. Gene Cranick “For want of a nail the shoe was lost.” They were there. They watched his home burn to the ground. I guess they thought they were making a point, an object lesson. Who wants to be the point, the object of a lesson? Not me. He’s there. Mark Carson That Christmas potluck was on 12/12/7. There are nine names on the list. Only two are dead that I know of for sure. Pork roast. Champagne. Red Jell-O salad. Those little chocolate bottles with real liquor inside. Seafood casserole. Green salad. Cheesecake. Mashed potatoes and gravy. What was the vegetable dish? Most of the rest have wandered away. There were two Marks that day. Bread I suppose. I’m still here. I should return those flutes. After all, she stayed and helped with the dishes. We finished most of the champagne. Raspberry champagne, a local vintner. Carlos Vigil I can’t believe it. I forgot to have children. Climb up on my knee, sonny boy. Your buddy misses you. We now return to our regular programming which is already in progress.

thanks Laurie

It's so fine - Laurie Anderson provides this on her site - the loss of Lou is so sad. All things beautiful must die. Ooo coo ooo coo coo It's cold outside Ooo coo ooo coo coo It's cold outside Ooo coo ooo coo coo Don't forget your mittens Hey pal, how do I get to town from here? And he said: Well just take a right where they're going to build that new shopping mall Go straight past where they're going to put in the freeway And take a left at what's going to be the new sports center And keep going until you hit the place where they're thinking of building that drive-in bank You can't miss it And I said: This must be the place Ooo coo coo ooo Golden cities, golden towns Golden cities, golden towns And long cars, in long lines And great big signs, and they all say: Hallelujah Yodellayheehoo Every man for himself Ooo coo coo Golden cities, golden towns Thanks for the ride Big science Hallelujah Big science Yodellayheehoo You know, I think we should put some mountains here Otherwise, what are all the characters going to fall off of? And what about stairs? Yodellayheehoo Ooo coo coo ooo Here's a man who lives a life of danger Everywhere he goes, he stays - a stranger Howdy stranger, mind if I smoke? And he said: Every man, every man for himself Every man, every man for himself All in favor say aye Big science Hallelujah Big science Yodellayheehoo Hey, professor Could you turn out the lights? Let's roll the film Big science. hallelujah Every man, every man for himself Big science Hallelujah Yodellayheehoo

SNAP!

SNAP! I don’t clutter up with links to sources. You can find confirmation of what follows. In tandem with the end of UCB for a million+ at year’s end (don’t get me started) the clowns in DC are fighting about reductions in SNAP benefits (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) that have already taken effect in part. The R’s want to cut forty billion (yes, with a B) and the D’s (pussies!) have offered nine. In round numbers fifty million Americans live below the poverty line. Seventeen million American children are included in that number. Seventeen million US American children are likely to go to bed hungry tonight. (I get to have my ice cream and pie.) If it’s a weekend or holiday they won’t get even the PBJ offered in their local school’s lunch program. It’s not that I was the one who figured this out so please bear with me. The food stamp program was basically birthed as a backroom gentlemen’s agreement between Big Farm (R’s) and Big Safety Net (D’s). The government would subsidize farmers and in return poor people would get non-fungible food credits to buy their products. It worked well (instances of true fraud by recipients of food assistance are minuscule) for a long time. That contract has broken down. Farm subsidies are at their highest since ‘73 and the poor are being trod upon and blamed for their lack of initiative and general torpor. Your tax dollars are helping Coke sell in China and Hershey sell in India. Forty billion in SNAP cuts, nine as a (meow) counter-proposal? Recipients (I’ve recently been one) of these non-fungible benefits do NOT eat lobster and Brie, media reports excepted. They plan, stretch, hoard and save in their budgets. OK, what to do? I’d say don’t throw money at mega-charities. Find a local place where your money can serve a community you identify with that is in need of help. Don’t take them your old canned goods. Inquire as to how your cash can buy real food for hungry Americans. I’ve sent my inquiry to NMAS and will report on their response. I’d like a dollar of mine to be turned into a bowl of soup for a deserving individual who can then say, “That was good!” At a right time a PBJ can be a great gift. A grilled cheese sandwich seems like a simple thing unless you can’t afford it.

golden cities golden towns

once had love and it was a gas soon turned out to be a pain in the ass

Pants Down Moment!

I’ll redact a name but open book is the way to go even if one has things some folks don’t care for. “Good day, I’ve received your letters regarding personal debts I’m obligated to pay and wish to update you regarding my circumstances and my ability to meet our agreements. On November 1, 2013 I was transported by ambulance from an urgent care facility to the cardiac unit of a local hospital where I stayed for eleven days. I was informed by my cardiologist Dr. * that I would never return to work again. I have been informed by my employer the State of New Mexico that I have been certified for Medical Leave Without Pay. My circumstances were so dire that for the months of December 2013 and January 2014 I qualified for food stamps with our state’s Income Support Division. There is some good news hidden in here as the combination of my age and years of service with the NM Human Services Department allow me to move to an early retirement. The paperwork takes, by their estimate, sixty to ninety days. At this time my projected date for retirement is March 1, 2014 with the first retirement check to be deposited on the final calendar day of that month. I’ve received some donations. I received a short term disability check from our insurance company and just as quickly received a letter that they were cancelling further payments until I provide additional documentation. They took almost sixty days to make their initial determination so I do not expect a sudden turnaround from their office. I’ve filed for OASDI with the Social Security Administration but that determination can take eighteen months even for an initial denial. I understand that under the terms of our various agreements you are entitled to return to the court and ask that I be compelled to show cause as to why I am not servicing these debts as previously agreed. I believe I have sufficient documentation, which I’ll gladly provide to you on your request, to demonstrate this unexpected and drastic turn in my financial situation. Though the court would likely affirm my obligations (short of bankruptcy) it seems they would be loathe to remand me to the lock up, particularly in light of the expenses associated with my need for medical attention, special dietary restrictions and the nature and severity of my failure to comply as previously agreed. I am not attempting to hide from you. My home is my only asset and I intend to remain in it as long as it’s physically possible for me to do so. It’s bad enough here that my furnace is dead and can’t be replaced without at least three thousand dollars in cash up front. In the morning you can see your breath in the living room and kitchen. I’ve retreated to the smallest bedroom with a portable heater and electric blanket. I’ve eliminated cable TV altogether and cut my phone service package in half. Between lack of funds and limited mobility (no functioning automobile) I only leave the house two or three days a week for business or supplies. I invite you to keep in contact with me as you see fit. When the new paradigm of retirement is in place starting in April of 2014 I should be able to again address and service these legitimate debts." something of a public posting i guess

Let's Talk Bacon!

In our dotage we are told not to eat things we like. With a friend I said I miss chips and dip. His was bacon. bacon Bacon BACON! quoting my reply here: "I share this without attempting to draw you to The Dark Side.Prior to the current tribulations I’d had a good run with a confection available only from a few specialty providers. BACON PECAN SANDIES! I merely took a leading online recipe for sandies and changed the measure of pecan bits to half pecan and half crispy bacon bits. On limited sharing the consumers, to a man jack of them, encouraged me to move Bacon Pecan Sandies onto the commercial market. (I actually own that domain name . . .) Frying fresh pork belly (also called “pork sides”) eliminates the salt from curing but, sadly, not the fat itself. I have some turkey bacon on hand but it’s like kissing your sister." My Evil Twin Robert finally came to me and said, "You're fucking 61 and you haven't had chips and dip like you want in months? Pussy!" Didn't hurt that a lead brand was bogo free . . .

In Praise Of The Post Office

Let's say something nice for change! I'm a fan of the USPS and always have been. Grandpa Youtzy was a postman his entire life in Cedar Rapids IA. In that day the postman was a respected member of the community. He made enough to support four kids in a solid middle class IA way. Grandmother never worked. It's been fashionable to beat up on postal workers for a while. People are fooled by politicians and union-bashers into thinking they live high on the hog at the public's expense. The fiction that the post office is a) sucking the taxpayer's tit and 2) losing money regularly is 1) ludicrous and b) mean-spirited in the extreme. The USPS is not funded by the government. If Congress had not mandated that their corporation pre-fund the retirement pay of postal workers not yet born their books would be in fine shape, thank you very much. Ooooh, a first class letter is dang near fitty cents! Locally it's not unusual to get next day service. Look around the globe and see what they pay for service. There are many locales where streets don't have names and houses don't have numbers. The postal service (thanks, Ben Franklin!) was an organizing principle in the creation and development of our country. When was the last time your postal delivery was cancelled because it was too hot or too cold or too snowy or rainy? My postman has been making deliveries to my renter who's engaged in some secret project (killer robot, world domination?) to the tune of 10-13 packages a day. Do you think the postman gets paid by the piece? If you want them to fold you are welcome to patronize FEDEX and UPS to your heart's content and your wallet's despair. The people who are selling you this stanky bit of goods want to destroy the USPS because it's one of (if not the primary) largest unions left. The work of post office employees cannot be outsourced to other countries where people make (literally) cents per hour to sew your fashions and fashion your phones in factories that fall (or burn) down and kill hundreds. Nice pants! Love your skids! As noted previously my bank (BBVA Compass) wanted $8 for a money order. The USPS charged me $1.20. They stay open past 5 for your convenience. On occasion they are the sole social connection left for the elderly, disabled and homebound. Want to impress someone you know and/or love? Send them a letter by mail. Folks hang onto real, honest-to-goodness letters (sometimes for years) to remind themselves of your kind attention. People archive emails so they can crush you later in court. So, you can tell the counter person at your local PO or the person who delivers at your home or office that you appreciate what they do. How tough is that?

Das Bank - part zwei

From time to time we receive a class action lawsuit notification by mail (mostly) regarding banks, lenders, credit card companies, et al. Usually the requirements for participation are too onerous but once in a while one is automatically a plaintiff. Case in point: I received a check from the "Anderson v. Compass Bank" settlement for $2.23. Now admittedly if I saw that on the sidewalk I'd pick it up. It's (almost) six chicken wings at MVFS Tuesday night (minimum order ten.) The problem is how to convert it to cash. As I don't have working transportation, USPS? If I deposit by mail I'll spend 49 cents for the stamp. We're down to four wings not including tip. The bus or a cab (love 'em!) would be right out. The last NSF charge I paid Compass was $38. That's 100+ wings for Compass (before tax and tip.) They dropped free use of other ATMs so it's $5+ now (fifty wings.) The monthly account service fee is the same. So I deal with my bank, they get 200 wings, I get six wings. And it's not like any other bank is going to be much better. The Banks Are Killing It! They are making a fortune and we have to stand in a roped-off snakeline waiting for that blessed benediction, "Next?" Consider the future this way. Wings are the new bitcoin. He who has ears let him hear. Next, Killer Robots reported in Florida and Korean seniors terrorize a McDonalds in Queens! Right after this word from our sponsor . . .

Neighborhood bank my ass

Saturday 1/11 turned out well after a rocky start. My session with my therapist was at 12:30 so I got out early to procure a money order to pay for my state employment insurance premium with direct deposit funds received from the donations of my co-workers. I hadn’t paid attention to the expiration date on my bus pass so the convenience store was beyond reach. I stuck my head in two banks (Wells Fargo, US Bank) within five blocks of my home to see if they’d sell me a bank check (with appropriate and exorbitant fee, of course) and they refused as I had no account there. I might be looking to change banks as I no longer work downtown but they didn’t gain any points with me. Banks are fucking Killing It as far as their profits and fees are concerned. To paraphrase Ernestine, “We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the bank.” I hit the Walgreens and ensured I have enough dried fruit for the next crumble. That, vodka and smokes, de nada. Meeting my therapist is now via VSee and I can’t recommend it highly enough. (He’s a keeper; if you want his email contact me at mryoutzy@lobo.net) I never got Skype to work even once. VSee is better, simpler, free and HIPAA compliant for privacy, although I’m confident the NSA gets theirs, if you know what I mean. Google VSee, watch the video. It loads in about two minutes and you have free face time using only the email address of another who has a camera as well. My web cam cost less than $50 years ago and is still more than up to the task. I shout loudly in the public square regarding therapy and the need to make it as natural as fiber and an oil change. Distance consultation means that even if you are in an area where you can’t visit a professional in person you are not alone. This includes medical advice regarding health maintenance, non-emergency. If you shop around therapists often offer a free consultation of thirty minutes or so to start to see if you click. Shopping around is natural. Not every professional is the one for you. Doesn’t make them bad, just not the correct choice for you at the current time. I found a “live wire” and he’s been instrumental in my survival, my avoidance of deep despair when it was all going out and nothing was coming in. http://www.loc.gov/jukebox/recordings/detail/id/6817/ (cut and paste into your browser) Folks may be unaware the Library of Congress maintains a musical database you’ve already paid for. A pearl of great price. My buddy came by. He had something very kind to say to me. He’s been under a different duress. If you busted someone’s balls just because you had personal issues you can come clean and you will both smile. The short term disability benefits due from my employer arrived by post. Five weeks late but who’s counting? I wrote checks to those I owe for services rendered. This boosts the economy. My heart breaks for those whose UIB has been ended, for those whose SNAP benefits are reduced or eliminated. When the dicks (cuz the women by and large ain’t puttin’ up with it) in either party in DC quibble as to whether to cut Forty Billion or Nine, when they get home and go to the fridge there’s food in there, something they like and a glass of wine, bourbon or juice of their choice. Fuckers. It’s Killer Robot and Killer Crumble here my friends.

comrade happy workers!

The patient is sitting up and taking nourishment. The state’s disability payments are to arrive in 7 to 10 business days. Oh goody. The good news is that the leave donations from co-workers posted today. My phone was disconnected last night: no money. These people came through for me. I immediately paid the gas, electric, cell, cable, water and insurance And a bit off by mail to my therapist. They’re unlikely to read this but it’s important to me.

oh Superman

Let’s talk Superman. I was greatly intrigued on the 2013 release of MAN OF STEEL. As I don’t go to the multiplex anymore I inevitably wait for video release so I see very few “new” movies. The last major release I saw in the theater was Batman II and that was a social outing with a friend. I read a number of critical reviews on this re-imagining of the ur story, some of which were lukewarm at best. I resolved I’d drop the buck when it came out on DVD and did so the first day of issue. More on that in a minute. Being born in ‘52 the B&W TV w/ George Reeves was must see TV. The comics were ten cents apiece at the drugstore. It’s safe to say Superman owned more real estate in my brain than Jesus. The implications of that haven’t become apparent until much later. For a small fattish boy with black horned rimmed glasses Superman carried a vision of power in the service of right that was quite at odds with fears of events in the Eisenhower administration and the first Kennedy years. The human intrigue of Clark Kent and his life with Lois Lane and the gang brought a self-identification that one could have inner strength, secrets, a desire to serve selflessly and an understanding that it might make one lonely, misunderstood. When snowstorms came and school was closed (sound familiar?) Bob Alcorn and I would don Dad’s fishing boots and go out fully bundled up to shovel sidewalks for fifty cents a pop. After several engagements we’d count our loot and head on foot the mile or so to the drugstore. Sometimes the comics were twelve for a dollar in a plastic sleeve (you didn’t know what was in the middle, just the front and back items.) Superman The Movie (1978) was only five bucks at Wal-Mart. I watched it yesterday and wept many times. The effects are dated, yes, yet the tropes ring true. The deniers of Krypton’s immanent destruction, the child sent to the future, his secret and sadness, the inevitable reveal of his abilities and compassion. The death of Lois Lane brings tears on reflection even now. I recently read “Super Boys” by @BradJRicca, the bio of Siegel and Shuster, the creators of Superman. Exhaustively researched and brilliantly written. It’s the story of an entire age and has real life heroes and villains of the first order. A brief try at Superman Returns was unsuccessful - perhaps another attempt later. I do need to go back for II - Zod and his team brought menace and dry humor at once. And oh, that nasty lady! I found Man Of Steel deeply satisfying. It’s a cartoon in an adult way suitable to our current day. The exposition is warm and satisfying. The development characters are well drawn and played. The destruction sequences are flawless and any “too soon?” chat about 9/11 images is just foolish. Tune in again soon! Don’t forget to visit www.yourfaithfulservant.com, find me on Facebook, or on Twitter @Mark Youtzy. I’ve got a lot of free time lately. Your comments are welcome.

The matter of the crumble has become an ongoing story. This time blackberry and pineapple. I took the walk to the drugstore as I needed alcohol and tobacco. We had an interior debate as to whether to listen to podcast voices in my head or not. Voices won. I am struggling with my employer. They are not delivering benefits already paid for and threatening to cancel my coverage if I don’t pay for more. I think cheeseburger is in order. I could make onion rings from scratch, easy. We’ll see.