Tuesday, March 20, 2007

poem for Ken

I’ve taken the baritone ukulele out of the closet
and applied Earl’s pocketknife to tighten the pegs.

my dog has fleas

The music store was on Galena just west of the river. I’m thinking, “Leslie’s”.

I could be wrong.

Something wonderful is happening.

I will write it as best as I can as it occurs.
I’m going to return to the closet to see if I can’t produce the Mel Bay manual.
It’s here, how soon?

I kid you not!
Forty-five seconds at most.
I knew the book but not the name.

“Learn to Play the Alfred Way”

Sorry, Mel Bay.

Baritone Uke

Everything You Need to Know To Play the Baritone Uke.

Includes Strums and a Complete Chord Dictionary.

MORTON MANUS, 1961

It’s full of stars . . .

I’m compelled at this point to mention that it’s mostly been triggered by
Bette singing “Ukulele Lady”
as I was driving home.

I’m compelled to return to the living room for now.

Again, it works if you work.

Post to an open chord and it’s easy to play Amazing Grace.

You knew that. I didn’t.

I’m thinking of your friend Red.

Red

Is that right?

Ken

I played Amazing Grace on the uke with my own fingers.

The trombone is another thing entirely.
It’s made of metal.
The uke is made of wood.
I don’t mean to disregard the trombone.
It did all right by me.

After the war trombones may be in short supply.
It’s at least possible you could carve your own guitar.

I can’t carve a trombone.

I can sing.

I know a lot of very fine tunes.

Let’s keep in touch.

Bye for now.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Friends and Brothers,

This initial letter comes to you to confirm my campaign to collect new tennis shoes for homeless men.

New Tennis Shoes For Homeless Men

On Saturday the 17th of March 2007, it was my privilege to kick off this campaign
at the Annual Communication of the Grand Lodge of Ancient Free and Accepted Masons of New Mexico, a challenge to the Senior Wardens of the many Lodges of New Mexico to compete with me in this effort.

The Lodges throughout our state will achieve this goal. A challenge has been laid; the gauntlet has been thrown. At the Masonic Olympics this coming summer the Lodge that displays the greatest number of shoes will win “The Golden Shoe” (a traveling trophy) and I will buy the Senior Warden of the winning lodge his own pair of
new tennis shoes.

As I expect to take this trophy back to Estancia #33,
allow me to inform you that my shoe size is 14 and my preferred color is white.

The National Coalition for Homeless Veterans (NCHV) informs us.

25% of America’s homeless population are veterans.

33% of America’s male homeless population are veterans.

It turns out that donations of clothing and footwear for men may be at the bottom of the donation list. Men tend to wear clothing to death and then convert it to polishing cloths for cars and shoes. Their wives have been known to wait until a man is asleep, then raid his closet and bury the remains in the back yard.

That man just might go and dig them up.

New Tennis Shoes For Homeless Men

I have built and am building a pyramid of shoes.
In speaking with Toni, favorite manager of my Wal-Mart,
she referred to a “Shoe Tree”.
Call it what you will, doesn’t it sound like a good idea to you?

To my friends who are not associated with Masonry I offer options.
You can send shoes to me, you can send a check to me, you can buy a pair of new tennis shoes for a homeless man and drop it off at a local Masonic Lodge or a local shelter.

In response to the great success this campaign is sure to achieve we will advance it to the national level in 2008. The Lodges of the fifty states will be asked to enhance our achievements.

When you see us on Oprah and Dave, and I say thank you to the many people who have made this concept reality, you will know that you were here on the ground floor of the Temple.

A pair of new tennis shoes for a homeless man will cost ten to fifteen dollars at your local Wal-Mart. I’m not talking “cheap shoes”. I wear such shoes most every day, and they are damn good shoes. I don’t know from personal experience, but I understand that a homeless man spends a lot of time on his feet and on the move. He’s not welcome in many places.

Allow me to repeat myself.

The National Coalition for Homeless Veterans (NCHV) informs us.

25% of America’s homeless population consists of veterans;

33% of America’s male homeless population consists of veterans.

Whatever I say to you three times is true.

New Tennis Shoes For Homeless Men

I love you and let you go for now.

Don’t make me come back after your ass.

Mark R. Youtzy

SW Estancia Lodge #33 A.F. & A.M. of New Mexico

Friday, March 16, 2007

i'll be huckstering a few guys on this one

This text has been edited from the original email sent to
Mr. Limbaugh, primarily to change from present tense to past (2/15/7). A few words have changed under artistic license.

Or was that license revoked under the Patriot Act?

“Mr. Limbaugh,

You haven’t heard from me before and are unlikely to hear from me again. A sort of trifecta of circumstance brings this message to you.

I only listen to radio in the car. When I run a workday errand, on break or traveling to and from lunch, I listen to you and Mr. Hannity. I enjoy knowing what you guys are up to.

A self-professed conservative (as confirmed by your interrogation) called you and you challenged him for even paying attention to what you describe as liberal news.

He said something on the line of, “The more information I have, the better.” You seemed to disagree.

That’s why I listen to you gentlemen. I might be led to something interesting or hear a story or perspective that I might not get elsewhere.

I don’t enjoy it when your caller labels me a quiche-head. I’ve got an education and a back-story. I do work to help people in need. I do the same at my job.

Here is number three. You said that the drive-by media never celebrates heroes. “Never.”

Then on that night’s CBS broadcast, the story of a veteran who lost a leg in battle and then did the NY marathon, half in a wheeled cart and half on foot after the cart broke. He is returning to duty.

I will freely admit your contention that media seems to veer against your perceptions. I would ask you to drop the word, “never”.

That’s all I ask.”

YFS and all that . . .

Oh!

p.s. (to you, the viewing public, not included in the original, offer not valid in all states) I was Worshipful Master of the Lodge of Sorrow today.

Estancia, NM

Coasters have no idea what a funeral of faith looks like in Estancia, NM.

I’m in the groove here, so please bear with me. I just happened to listen
to disc one of Star Time. I can’t help myself.

Oh!

Lambert Hendrix and Ross!

These blues will end.

Decorated military veteran, eighty-four years old.
Sons and grandsons following in his footsteps to serve our country.
Serving now.

There are many names for the grandfather.
Today his name is Paw Paw.
Mine was Bumpa.

Oh!

Thank you for your patience.

Linda shared a poem that was a favorite of our Brother.

No surprise.

IN FLANDERS FIELDS the poppies blow
between the crosses row on row, that mark our place;
and in the sky the larks, still bravely singing, fly
scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead. Short days ago
we lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, loved and were loved,
and now we lie in Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw the torch;
be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die
we shall not sleep,
though poppies grow in Flanders fields.

There is enough ambiguity above for a lifetime.

Liberty.

Mr. Limbaugh spoke.
I didn’t listen today on the hour-long drive.
Service at ten, focus on a brother.
I listened to Mel Torme:
silence coming home.

SPOILER ALERT

I’m 54 years old now.

Now, back to your regular programming . . .

Oh!

Here’s a point.

At the ripe old age of 54,
having served as
Worshipful Master of the Lodge of Sorrow
many times
I am witness to something new.

I have never attended a funeral where a military family spoke about
the president.

Until now.

One of his folk said the brother didn’t like W.

84

As the youngsters say,

“Word.”

Many of these people wear overalls for work, not for show.

I’m not sure about this long form for YFS and will not repeat such length soon.

I admit it attracts me.

Last night, Apu said, (in so many words), “There are so many things I wanted to see,
to do,
to have done to me.”

That’s America!

Duty Now For The Future!

How patient can you possibly be?

News, I have news!

I’m going to ask you gentlemen to give me a bit of advice.

My angle is the shoes.

New Tennis Shoes For Homeless Men

I’m going to ask Tbogg (because our photos relate), Norbizness and The General to check my screed and give me some advice. They (as far as the research department of the Masons, Illuminati, New World and May I take your Order, Please? have determined) may facilitate our/my domination.

I am a Master of the Royal Secret, after all.

For once I’m not kidding; am I? Maybe not . . .

I conduct the Choir.

Developing . . .

The only way you gentlemen might consider my push is new tennis shoes for homeless men.

I guess I sound stupid when I say to you that this might be a moment.

Tennis shoes, new tennis shoes. NCHV says a third of the homeless men
in our nation are vets.

I want you to understand that, as they say on the news, at the end of the day,
this is not about me.
Because of the Masonic connection I truly believe I can move this to the national stage.

That does not mean that I will not benefit from this. If it works big Oprah will call me.

That's not why we work.

If I end up on some show you can come with me . . .

Under the current administration I’ve felt fear and the urge to hide.

Screw that.

Instead, I’ve made a decision to raise my profile.

Perhaps you are tired of being frightened.

Perhaps someone will notice if I disappear.

Rush has Club Gitmo gear in his boutique.

My wife is so fat when she sits around the house,

She sits around the house.

Bye for now.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

i wish

DUDE!

I am going to the wall with this. The word is new.

Do gift used shoes where you will.

I'll hit you right now.

USED SHOES?

Please don't do that to them or me.

This is new shoes for homeless men.

Period.

The Blues Brothers were and continue to be on a mission from God.

You choose your god and I'll choose mine.

If you misapprehend that you can throw an old pair
out of the window of our
speeding car
and take credit for helping
I'll have to chastise you.

Just kidding!

not

New Tennis Shoes For Homeless Men

mark

p.s. I mean it. As we are no longer affiliated professionally,
it is possible we don't really need to communicate online much anymore.

I care for you in a big way.

What do you think?

I love thinking that you have some understanding,
as I imagine I have some understanding,
that we have at least some small commitment
to improving our condition.

I return to Lou Gherig; "I am the luckiest man on the face of the planet."

Do you understand that you are the luckiest man on the face of the planet?

deal?

mark

* p.s. The original post has been edited to delete the initals of the recipient.

Friday, March 9, 2007

Dude! Shoes!

Up front, I am not a veteran.

I found your site (NCHV) because I needed some hard information and numbers about this problem.

I've started a campaign at my Masonic Lodge in Estancia, NM where lodges throughout the state will be challenged to donate new tennis shoes for homeless men. I intend to refer to your site by name, provide a link and use the information on your site in letters and appearances.

If there are any problems with that I hope you will contact me and let me know. If I do not hear from you either way I'll assume that it is acceptable to you. I say that only because I'm sure you have many emails with greater importance. I have not and never will state or imply that your organization supports, endorses or is any way associated with this project.

Masons have fought for this country since and before its creation. Every Lodge displays a portrait of our past Most Worshipful Grand Master George Washington. If you'll check among your circle I'm willing to bet you'll have independent confirmation.

I plan to include local media. If I succeed this year it will be easy for me to refer the program to the Grand Lodges of all the states.

So, if anyone with your organization has any questions or would like to talk to me, my home number is *****. If you'd like independent confirmation that I am authentic, just Google up "Grand Lodge of New Mexico" and ask. They will say that I'm crazy; they will also confirm that I'm the Senior Warden of Estancia Lodge #33 A.F. & A.M.

Thank you for your attention. I hope to hear from you.

I remain Your Faithful Servant

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Dear Jennifer

Dear Jennifer,

Cousin Tom was kind enough to send me a CD of your recital.

Although it was over thirty years ago, I recall the trombone recital for my degree. The stress of preparing to make the grade,
and the occasional pleasure that one might have achieved
just a passage or two of a grand work.

My recital included an avante garde piece
where prayers were muttered
that the pianist and I would arrive at the end
at the same time.

Fortunately, we did.

Do not confuse your feeling of accomplishment
for a job well done
with shameful self-aggrandizement.

Being humble,
working
and agreeing
is a goal.

This does not preclude achievement,
excelling in work
because one has applied oneself to the task at hand.

There’s a best seller on the list of the NY Times that states
one can merely imagine gifts and graces
by applying the power of the mind and of faith
and it will be done.

We understand belief.

Belief isn’t enough to produce the Schumann piece.

I didn’t just glaze over your work.
I heard some here at home.
Then I heard the whole thing.

I have occasion to take an hour’s drive to a lodge meeting in Estancia and on the return trip I was able to appreciate your entire recital while driving through a darkened southwestern sky.

Be proud of your performance.
Your technical prowess is clear
and the emotional depth is gratifying and exciting.

So, my young friend,
this may be the sum of our communication,
and there is nothing wrong with that.

The recording is playing at the same moment that I am sending this message to you.

Monday, March 5, 2007

a shot at Gawker Artists

While receiving a refund at the post office today I heard “Soul Makossa”. We used to do that tune in the early 70’s; Joe sang through his nose.

"Mama-ko, mama-sa, mama-ma-ko-sa", lather, rinse and repeat.

I feel that digital photography has been very kind to me. I also cook, and sometimes strut a bit upon the wicked stage.

I’m only an artist when people like my picture, my song, my words. Or . . .

I think I have a fair grip on when my work is good or fair or lame.

If not you will tell me.

Please do.

Saturday, March 3, 2007

I'm taking a leap here

I’m taking a leap here.

I picked up the keys to my new office today. I got my certification as a hypnotist several years ago. I’ve never marketed my expertise before. I’ve just used that knowledge in my personal, social and work environments.

(You didn’t notice: deeper, deeper.)

I’ve long said that my propensity to give advice is exceeded only by the recipient’s disregard of the same. Thus, no guarantees are involved.

At the big box discount store, a manager told me she was at a funeral where I was
Worshipful Master of the Lodge of Sorrow.
Turned out she liked it.
I liked it as well.

It’s odd to say that I enjoy a funeral.
It gives folks a chance to see what we carry for a brother.


I’m up to the job.
Despite my faults folks continue to work with me.
I continue to work with them.